30 interesting facts about Gayfie Gardner - Because this is what she calls revenge. However, she hasn’t read my facts yet. Enjoy.


Her middle name is Jane.

She does a fun fun degree called Culinary Arts where she cooks stuff and writes stuff about food and urrmm money and running foody events.

She’s been recording lots of covers recently so expect the sound of an adolescent boy to be on your dash (her words not mine).

She recently had tonsillitis which sucked because she was all mopey and ill ;)

She enjoys dragging unsuspecting lovely people into her Rizzles obsession… Not bitter…

Once she tried to feed a pizza to a computer whilst completely off her face.

Her vagina is called Hunter – probably not best to ask how I know that.

Are we seriously only on eight!!? Okay, well her hangover cure is a KFC fillet burger meal with a Sprite/7up lemonadey thing.

She would probably rather marry her guitar than another human being.

Has a little (huge) addiction to Hollister, Abercrombie and Fitch, Superdry and the likes.

Spiders are definitely not her thing. One word: Aragog.

Despite what she says, she’s a soppy lil’ shit at times.

She is “not straight, not gay, and… sure as hell not bisexual, dammit. I am who I am, when I am it”.

Her biggest dilemma in life is: pizza, rice or KFC. That, is the question.

The only thing faster than light is a fangirl who hears her idol come on the tv in another room…

She wears hats… but we all know they look better on me.

I once proposed (down on one knee and everything) to her with a bunch of Mother’s Day posies. The picture went up on Facebook and she ended up with a call from her mother… For the record, the wedding’s next June ;)

She plays a ball game with a very gay wrist flick involved – Basketball, I think it’s called?

Okay, seriously… we’re only on nineteen? Simple one now then – her sister’s name is Jessica.

She still maintains that the first time she met me she was “totally straight – I WAS WEARING HEELS AND EVERYTHING”. Then again, this is the night she tried to sleep in a shower…

A dare is a dare. If you don’t want it done, don’t dare her to do it. :P

She’s so dedicated to Harry Potter she has some weird voodoo kinds symbol doodled on her wrist… ;)

There is video evidence of Sophie running for a forfeit outside in just her boxers. Proof of no. 21.

OH HOW COULD I FORGET THIS ONE! Once, when we were exceedingly drunk we swapped boxers… apart from I ended up with hers AND mine on so he was just stood in our lounge in the underwear and t-shirt. Did I mention, there were people outside smoking, looking in, at the time!

Her fingers are so cute and stubby but her tongue is huuuuge. Go figure. [Note to Sophie, murder is wrong, therefore you cannot kill me for this ;)]

She enjoys showing you childhood photos when drunk to prove how NOT GAY she was… Unfortunately for her the boat picture disproves this point entirely.

TWENTY-SEVEN!!?? BUT I’M RUNNING OUT! Oh, oh! She and Sophie E are going to set up a business (or something) together called Sophie squared.

One thing is for certain, she’s pretty damn smug about making Pip find 30 interesting things to say about her. Arrogant twat. :P

Oh, here’s another drunk story, she once gave me a piggy back, almost killed me and then tried to throw me in a wheelie bin. The latter part has been attempted more than once… And also with a pond. Charming.

LAST ONE! Hair short or hair long – another Sophie dilemma for y’all.

 

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT. 

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Posted on Saturday, 6 April
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